What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. People can and do change over the smallest increments of time. We must remember that every time people come together they are meeting strangers.
Moreover, every relationship is composed of the incredibly complex play of perspectives, passions, insights, desires and mutual human-life understandings.
One sure way to eliminate the burden of these ‘complexities and changes’ is to just ignore them. Build up a buffer or barrier between you and the ‘complexities and changes’ and make up a personal rule on how you will handle those circumstances in the future. Maybe a form of violence that basically attacks the intruder who brings ‘complexities and changes’ is in order.
If something seems too difficult to understand, just rebel against it.
Leave ‘understanding’ to those who are willing – and care enough about the subject at hand – to pursue it.