Miriam had been trained to be a shadow. Sure, there were occasional aspirations but they all succumbed to her idea that she was crawling through shadows of life. Suffering and pitfalls always follow low thoughts just as a wagon follows a child who is pulling it.
In her secret life within, Miriam was aware of her losses. She had given up on all of her attempts. She felt she could not compete with others while she bargained on hands and knees. With constant reinforcement she convinced herself that her failures were just too minimal and empty to be worthy of sharing with anyone else.
No matter in which direction she looked there was lack; physical, mental and spiritual. She would have cherished a rational little raft to hang on to. In her night sky there was no moon at all.