I hate it when you do that. Why don’t you grow up? You’re never here when I need you. Why can’t you be like John? You always call the shots. Where’s the girl that I married?
Practically every gesture we make to a loved one is done in some way to entice them to see things from our perspective. To subtly get them to conform to some preset conditions we have assembled for our life.
There is always a tipping point. A guy wants to go fishing with his friends one too many times. Or she doesn’t want his intimacy one too many times.
Remember back to the start of any relationship you have had. Magical! Cute surprises, unexpected words said, actions you had never experienced before. And mystery. And uncertainty. And desire.
But tack a few years on to that partnership and those cute surprises somehow lose their charm. The unexpected words now bring stinging accusations. The ‘mystery’ now only causes more doubt. The ‘desire’ – suffers.
This never ending story continues because most folks live for themselves, and almost always there are obstacles of sufficient magnitude to eventually cause grief and separation.
As a hopeful better alternative, what would happen if the participants in a relationship each had their focus on the Infinite? With the idea that the individuals would be responsible to the Infinite and not to each other.
Instead of talking about the weather, couples would convey recent heights they had attained. People would evolve as better and better replicas of themselves and not some tangled disarrangement of two lives forced together.
A couple is near divorce. Think what might happen if they both spent a week pondering their highest and most enjoyable union possible and then came together at dinner and discussed their findings.
Life is nothing more than those things on which we focus.